Weigh in day

Well today is the day, the first weigh in day. The magic number of the day was 190.0. That's down two pounds. I would like to be excited about this but I know that it doesn't really mean anything. My weight has fluctuated plus and minus five pounds for months. Next week it could be, and probably will be up two again.

I know, not very optimistic.

I had a doctors appointment today to find out whats wrong with my stomach. We discussed that I might have a hernia so we are going to do an upper GI. YUK! It will certainly be worth it if we can finally find out what the hell is wrong with me. I had to take my mom along with me to distract me from having my blood pressure taken. Over the last year I have developed a bad case of white coat syndrome, so my BP is always high now. I thought that having mom there would keep me calm enough to get a lower reading but it didn't. I was showing her pictures on my phone, and we were laughing, but as soon as they strapped that cuff on my arm, that was the end for me. I started freaking out, on the inside of course. I try not to let people see my freaking out. It did come out as high. 135/94. My doctor said she wasn't concerned because it was fine in may and in April. It really just reconfirms how important it is for me to loose weight.