I remember much more about high school than I care too.  It was so many years ago, but it still seems like yesterday.  It was pretty unpleasant, since I was at the bottom of the social ladder, but there were good times too.  The one thing that really sticks out in my head is how awkward I was.  I know most teenagers are awkward, but I think I was a little more so than others.  I've always said I was like wallpaper, I did the best I could to go unnoticed.  I hated when people talked to me, and I avoided to talking to people as much as I could.  I did have a small circle of fellow outcasts that I considered my friends, and would talk with but on the whole I didn't want to to noticed.  Mostly because I never knew what to say.  I was always afraid I would say something stupid and in return everyone would think I was stupid, so I just opted to keep my mouth shut.  

College, however, was a completely different experience!  I loved every second of it.  I "came out of my shell" and was very outgoing. I didn't care what anyone thought of me, so that freed me to just be myself and it was amazing.   Much to my surprise, I had many amazing friends, and I really can't think of anyone who made me feel intimidated.  I comfortable with my life for the time ever.

After college, I continued with my new attitude on life and really enjoyed every day the Lord gave me.  Sometimes I enjoyed a little too much! Eventually I met my husband and we started a family.

Now, after eight years of marriage, two kids, a dog, a cat and fish I feel I've come full circle.  I'm right back where I was in high.  Awkward and unable to relate to the people around me.   The only difference is now I have people depending on me to teach them important life lessons, like how to accept yourself and enjoy your life.

I found myself hanging with a dear, dear friend of mine today, and I didn't know what to say.  Shes been one of my best friends for over 15 years, but I didn't know what to say to her.  I didn't want her to think poorly of me so instead I didn't want to think anything.  I know she would never judgemental of me, but I was still scared.  After a while I got more comfortable and I ended up having a great time, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again soon, but I learned a very important lesson.

I just can't relate to people anymore....and I hate it!